TheChrisLStump

Before heading to the white beach, we checked out the actual fort.  It was built in the late 1890′s as a military outpost to look out for the Mexicans, if they chose to attack.  Honestly, I wasn’t too impressed with the fort.  There were some neat canons and a nice view of the beaches wrapping around the island, but the interior was bare and the information provided about each room was in 12 pt font and a page long.  That made me less likely to read it.  Not worth the time, but at least I can say I’ve visited the fort.

After the fort, we headed to the north beach to watch the sunset.  It was still a gorgeous day as we cruised up the dune guarded road.  The beach was packed.  Tons of people were sun-bathing, swimming, playing volleyball, and even running through the surf in shirt and tie (yes, we saw a man do this).  We even came across a small wedding party lounging against one of the small dunes.  We continued to head up the beach, looking for a spot that was kind of quiet and clear of people impeding with my stunning sunset photo shots.  The sand was so white and soft as cotton as my toes spread and pressed into the trillions of pieces of sand.

We finally found a spot a few paces away from an older man in a woman’s bikini bottom…yuck! (No I’m not making it up).  We were right in front of the blinding, setting bulb of fire.  When we set down I looked at my watch and noticed that it was only 5:30!  We had two hours before the sun would completely dip below the level of the gulf.  So we sat and waited.  We noticed a boat out in the distance and glanced away for a second, looked back, and it was gone!  It was totally like something out of “Lost”.  Were we on the island?  Not really.  The truth was that there was a fog growing in the distance that sucked the boat into it’s diaphanous curtain of mist.

As the sun was lowering it’s bulbous head from the Floridian sky to waken the inhabitants on the other side of the world, the mist that had enveloped the boat 15 minutes earlier was flaunting it’s massive, and eerie cloak on the heels of the beach.  What the crap?!?!  Where was this coming from?  It kept getting closer and thicker.  I was so upset.  I had looked forward to this day for quite some time, drove 2 hours to experience it, and waited on the beach for an hour to capture this beauty.  Now the mist was rudely blocking my view of the sun’s blazing farewell to the gulf coast of Florida.

Huffing and puffing we decided to get our gear and head back to the car.  There wasn’t going to be a clear sunset for me that night.  So we started heading back on a deserted beach in the midst of the fog’s thick cloak.  It seemed more like an early morning rather than dusk.  There were points that the fog completely blocked the piercing light of the sun…now that’s some thick stuff.  Even though we couldn’t see the sun’s creative splash of color on the canvas sky, I did get some great shots.  Just like the sun, at times, was able to pierce through the thick cloud, joy and wonder pierced through the disappointment I felt.  It was a great trip and an interesting sight to behold.  Luckily we didn’t run into giant insects flying through the mist, and it was most likely a natural phenomenon rather than a military freak accident (Reference to Stephen King’s The Mist).  Anyway…Fort de Soto is a great place to relax, kayak, bike, and much more.  I’ll be going back…and next time I’m gonna see that sunset!

The water was rather murky, so if there were manatees we couldn’t see them.  I did, however, see my first gator in the wild of Florida.  I’ve almost been here a year, and yesterday was the first sighting of a wild gator.  So that made the trip worth it!  We found out there was a 4 mile hiking trail to the water that we could do.  So we decided to make our $5 entry fee worth it and hike all the way.  It was an interesting hike.  The first half of the trail consisted of a service road that lead into the Floridian canopy.  The trees were beautiful, moss hanging from the limbs.  Our destination was a very small beach and a river…nothing too spectacular.  We sat for about a minute, then headed back 4.2 miles.  When we got back to the parking lot I found three tics crawling around on my feet, and my friend found like ten on him!  So we drove back in paranoia, worrying if there were other tics crawling around.  I did find another crawling up my back when I got home.  Disgusting!

Though we didn’t get to see any manatees, the springs were a beautiful place.  I’ll probably go back when it’s cooler, because I’ll have more of a chance to see the manatees.  For now, I’ll just live with The Living Seas area at Epcot to see some manatees.

After an exhausting day at the springs, we went to Universal for the night for dinner and a movie.  We saw “Watchmen” and I was pretty disappointed.  It was almost three hours long, and there was so much dialogue.  I thought that being based off a graphic novel about quasi-superheroes that there would be a lot more action.  The plot really didn’t accelerate until 30 minutes before the end.  I thought it was interesting how they tied the story line in with the Cold War and the Nixon administration.  It was an okay movie, but way too long, way too much dialogue, not enough action, and a little bit too much CGI penis!

GLSEN and the Hitler Youth

H.R. 1388, “Generations Invigorating Volunteerism and Education Act” (GIVE), was approved by the House, and is on the fast track to the Senate and President Obama.

Outrage over the GIVE religious and political restrictions appear to have yielded a strategic withdrawal, allowing recruits to attend church and think independent thought privately.

“The purpose of the bill is to require mandatory community service for all young people in the United States,” Rep. Ted Poe, R-Texas, told WND in a telephone interview.

“The mobilization of the youth to put them into community work environments that are specified in the bill raises questions about who will be teaching the youth and what is deemed appropriate community service,” he said.

Old-timers naturally recall Communist, Fascist and Nazi youth brigades as severing children from their parent’s religious traditions and beliefs. (Read more)

I wouldn’t compare GLSEN students to Hitler youth, but it is interesting to see what schools/institutions are doing to attempt to indoctrinate young students.  I was browsing the GLSEN website today and came across a link to view winners of a no name-calling creative expression week contest.  There was a winner mentioned that was 5 years old.  Now I am totally for the prevention of name-calling in schools.  I spent so many years dealing with this personally, that I understand the destructiveness and power these names have.  But, at the same time, kindergartners are being exposed to sexuality and an ideology before they’ve even hit puberty and really understand what sexuality is!  Yes protect people from hurtful names and encourage others to help school be safe and free of name-calling.  But don’t try to indoctrinate small, naieve ears.

This is why it is important for Christians to be actively involved in ways such as the Day of Truth.  Let’s not sit back and complain or compare GLSEN students to Hitler youth (which I think is a bit extreme), but let’s make it our goal as Christians to share truth in a loving way.  Let’s bring the compassion of Christ to our schools and stand for equality for our children and the right to uphold our own traditions and Christian values in our families.  And let us remember to love those who fight against us.  Standing for truth does not mean fighting to win for ourselves, but fighting to win others.

I’ve been working this month at Exodus in preparation for the Day of Truth on April 20th.  For those who may not know about this event, it was established by the Alliance Defense Fund in order to counter the homosexual agenda in schools and present an alternative viewpoint from a Christian perspective.  At Exodus we’ve been focusing hard on building relationships and actually ministering rather than just simply promoting free speech.  The Day of Truth comes just a few days after the Day of Silence, a day in which students are encouraged to go throughout the day in silence, making a statement against harassment of gay-identified students.  I’ve written a couple of articles on the topic and it’s got me thinking.

I was a struggling pre-teen, battling in secrecy with homosexual attractions.  I felt so ashamed and fearful to ever admit this was a reality I lived with daily.  I kept my battle to myself, hoping no one would ever find out.  Of course, other peers made fun of me, and I was constantly reminded of my disgusting and shameful struggle through all the banter and names pitched at me.  I was actively committed to my Christian walk during my middle school years.  In fact that is one of the first times I went deeply into the Scriptures and my relationship with Christ blossomed.  He was the only one I felt I could run to.  And yet, my homosexual attractions, at least at that point in my life, were never a part of my conversations with God.  I kept that snugly hidden away, out of fear or just a desire to ignore it, I’m not quite sure.

I grew up in a rather southern Baptist church.  It wasn’t uber conservative, but some of the ideology put more emphasis on judgment and less focus on grace.  When it came to homosexuality, grace was siphoned out and judgment reigned supreme.  I remember my pastor preaching only once on homosexuality.  He quoted from Leviticus and as he did he raised his hand, with index finger pointed to the sky, veins popping out of his neck, and face red.  With a blistering tone he said: “Homosexuals are an abomination and they all go to hell.”  (OK, he really didn’t get all fired up like that.  But that’s how I preceived it all – full of hate).  I knew then I couldn’t tell anyone what I was battling with.  It was sick, disgusting, and unnatural.  So I kept it hidden, and it continued to boil and boil, until one day in high school it was released with a simple phrase, “I’m gay.”

I wonder what would have happened if Day of Truth was around when I was a struggling student.  I don’t think there is any young person struggling with same-sex attraction that rejoices in it and embraces it from the very moment they realize they are attracted to the same-sex.  It takes time for that to happen, if it does at all.  For me, it was a time of loneliness and isolation, with no one to talk to.  Conversations only with myself brought me to the realization that I was gay and I just had to embrace and celebrate it.  But would I have done so if I had heard a redemptive message from compassionate peers, instead of the sole hateful and demeaning labels constantly ringing in my ears?

I can’t really say what I would have done, but I think things may have worked out differently.  I didn’t know people were walking free from homosexuality until I was a junior in high school.  The message of hope and grace was not shared with me until after I had embraced the gay-identity – a time when I didn’t want to hear it.  Had I had friends I knew I could trust with my secrets and who poured out the message of God’s grace over the coals of judgment I had been walking on from that pivotal sermon given by my pastor, I don’t think I would have made some of the choices I did.

I was a teen desperate for love, unconditional love, one in which I could bare all my trash and not be rejected.  I was a teen desperate to hear a message of grace, compassion, and of a loving Father who knew my brokenness whether I brought it out of it’s tightly closed pocket to Him or not.  I think of all the teens struggling with homosexuality in schools today.  It’s been less than a decade since I was in middle school, but things have drastically changed.  The pro-gay rhetoric is rampant in schools.  The born-gay ideology is being preached in school halls all across America and students are not hearing the redemptive message.

I’m thinking about that 12 year old boy who is in the same place I was in ten years ago.  He’s struggling in secrecy, fearful of letting anyone in on his “sickness”.  His peers reject him, and experiencing any painful rejection from friends is just too much to bear.  So he’ll keep it hidden, drenched in loveless  judgment imposed by others, that is perceived as God’s.  I want that kid to hear from his peers on the Day of Truth that God loves him very much, and that God is with him even in his struggle with same-sex attractions.  He hasn’t abandoned him, nor will He ever.  I want peers to show him compassion and provide a welcoming place for him to be free to be himself, struggles and all.  Maybe then he won’t go down the same road I traveled.

I know what it’s like to live so many years in the shadow of a misperception that God loves everyone except me, because I dealt with homosexuality.  I know what it’s like to feel all alone and extremely afraid of anyone finding out that I was a homosexual struggler.  I know the shame that comes with all that and the constant reinforcement of disdain and repugnance towards guys simply because they acted different from the other boys.  The Day of Truth is so crucial.  I was confused in my identity back in the late 90s and sexuality wasn’t talked about nearly as much as it is now in public schools.  I can only imagine the confusion swirling around in hallways and classrooms today.  I’m thankful to be a part of a force today that can reach kids with a message of life and hope and help calm the confusing whirlwind.  Be praying for a great turnout on the Day of Truth this year!

I took a trip up to Saint Augustine with my roommate yesterday, and it was a lot of fun.  Most of the day the sky was overcast, but there wasn’t any rain.  I love history, so I was really excited about exploring the actual oldest city in America – founded a few decades before Jamestown.  For whatever reason I had high hopes for this old city.  It wasn’t as historic as I thought it would be.  Yeah there’s a fort, which is pretty cool, and there are some old buildings, but it doesn’t have quite the charm that Charleston, SC has.  I still had a good time though.

We had a decent lunch at a cafe and some great ice cream in a cool area of town called the walking mall.  There were shops lined up on a narrow street in old buildings and some new.  There were men out in the alleyways playing instruments and plenty of places to do a little wine tasting.  We stopped by a store in an old wooden house and tasted pineapple wine and watermelon wine.  They were really good … the pineapple being my favorite.

I think St. Augustine would be a great place to go for a weekend getaway.  There are some very quaint little inns lining the old streets of town.  One day…when I’m married…I’ll definitely take my wife up there for a nice, romantic weekend.

It was great to go up there just for a day.  It’s not too far away.  It makes me glad that I live here in Orlando.  The beach is less than an hour away, Disney is right down the road along with SeaWorld and Universal Studios, and Miami/Keys are a half day drive away.  The weather is warm and it’s sunny almost all the time.  The only bad thing about Florida is…no mountains.  I miss hiking.  But right now I’m focusing on all the good parts about living here.  After all…I may be here awhile.

I believe the executive office is tinged with hypocrisy these days.  Obama one minute preaches about saving innocent lives, while allowing federal funding for the massacre of who knows how many innocent lives by way of abortion.  He urges people to sacrifice by cutting back on certain things such as energy, while he keeps his office heated like a sauna.  Hmm…and what about his 170 million dollar inauguration party?  Did anyone mention to him that we were in a recession?  Maybe he should have used some of that money to help stimulate the economy rather than his own ego.  It’s interesting that four years ago the media criticized Bush for spending a little over 40 million dollars on his party while the country was at war and in economic stress.  But no one made a big hoopla about Obama’s party that cost over four times as much money, and we are actually in a recession now.

I look at these past few weeks and I just have to shake my head.  Where are the cries of the people?  Not everyone is fully behind our President’s actions.  It’s only been two and a half weeks, and things are looking pretty scary.  It seems that Obama is welcoming in a new era that tastes a bit like socialism (i.e. wanting to put a cap on how much bank executives make…what happened to capitalism?) and corruption (i.e. wanting to “hire” two people that basically gave the government the middle finger when it came to paying taxes…what happened to integrity and character?).

I’m not a die-hard Republican at all…I’m a moderate.  But I really see reunification and a strengthening of the GOP taking place.  Though Washington seems to be bending ever more closely to liberalism, immorality, and socialism…there is hope.  The GOP is going to come back strong and able to fight.  I hope they continue to fight for morality, integrity, equality for all, and what the founding fathers fought for.  I hope the underdogs stand for what is right!  And for the sake of our country and future generations, I hope people begin to see Obama as merely a leader who should be held accountable, and not a messiah who is trusted with and allowed to do anything.

Yesterday we witnessed an historic event.  Not only was it the inauguration of a new president, it was also the beginning of a new era in Washington.  I watched in amazement as the crowds chanted sporadically in the mall the name of Bush’s successor.   People were jubilant and elated at the swearing in of Obama.  I haven’t seen many inaugurations in my time…but I’m pretty sure no other president-elect has received so much adulation and awe.  It seems as though all the hopes and dreams of this great nation and all Americans are hinged ever so tightly on the leadership of Barack Obama.  I hope that this awe will soon dissipate and people will begin to realize Obama is not the hope of the world, nor this country.  Obama is human and won’t be a flawless leader.  He will make mistakes.  Afterall, he is human like everyone else.  I wish him the absolute best as our new president.  I’m actually quite excited to see what will happen with this new administration.

As I was watching the whole spectacle, though, I wondered what George W. Bush was thinking and feeling.  I noticed when the announcer introduced Cheney and him as they entered onto the inaugural platform, it was rather silent.  Many people did not applaud either leader.  I was disappointed in this.  Though Bush enacted certain policies and actions I definitely did not agree with, I still have respect for him.  I don’t know or understand the stresses that the President of our great nation endures and I don’t think I ever want to have to feel that.  So for that, I have the utmost respect for any man or woman who endeavor to take on this role of leading one of the most powerful nations in the world.  I thought Bush deserved a great applause for keeping our country safe, and not wavering in his duty to protect us.

We have made great strides as a nation.  Though Obama is not completely African-American, his election would never have been possible 50 years ago.  I’m proud that we have come to this point when color no longer matters.  That was Martin Luther King Jr’s dream, that we would get to a place where color made no difference.  Now, the highest position of leadership in this country has broken through the color barrier.

I’m not putting all my hope in Obama, because I know he won’t be able to solve all the problems.  I’m not depending on Obama to make my life better.  I have the same respect for him as I do Bush.  I commend him for stepping up to lead this country, to make it a better and safer country.  But we must see him as a leader and not a savior.  He can work to make things better, but he can’t save this country.  I hope Barack Obama’s aura will soon be demystified.  Not for my sake, but for the sake of this country and it’s people.  A new era is dawning not only in the government but also of the people.  Are we going to look to Obama to save us and make things better, or are we going to be acitve citizens and work for the good of others and the nation?

Today, my pastor spoke about how we define our life experiences. Do we talk of certain events in our past as if they tore us down, or do we look at them as experiences in which we rejoice because God showed up and grew us up in unimaginable ways? When bad things happen to us we have only two options in how we respond: we give up and are hopeless or we trust in God and are hopeful. How will we define difficult times in our lives?

I know that this season is a difficult time for me. I hurt and ache at times, but I have the choice to allow it to weaken me or to strengthen me. Yesterday I got on a ride at Epcot that described how humans live with the land in a hopefully cooperative way. When we first entered the ride after loading onto the boats, the narrator came over the speakers above us and described the scene straight ahead. There was a copious display of vegetation, and towering plants with an animated screen in the background flashing like a strobe light to resemble the thunder and lightening sounds coming from the hidden speakers. As we floated towards this scene the narrator said, “The approaching storm may seem violent and destructive to us, but to nature it’s a new beginning.” I thought this fit well with our life circumstances.

So many times the approaching storm of struggle and strife seems violent and destructive, but to the Creator it is an opportunity to grow us and bring us into a new beginning, one that has matured us and has provided us the strength to respond differently and more wisely the next time a battle comes. I never asked to struggle with homosexuality, nor did I welcome the struggle with jovial anticipation. But through the years of walking my journey to being more like Christ, I can see through the storm there was a steady presence of light walking right alongside me, and that was the Holy Spirit. I look back on the approaching rain clouds and I’m thankful for what transpired way back then, in order to bring me to this moment.  I’m not perfect by any long stretch, but God has molded me into a shape that is more like Jesus today than it was six or seven years ago. If He could be faithful to me during these past few years then why can’t He be in what I am struggling with right now?

I don’t think God gives us more than we can chew. He wouldn’t allow some ordeal to happen that He knew would break us, because He is a God of love who wants to push us ever closer to perfection, not leave us caked in mud and despair. He wants to see us triumph, not wallow in defeat. He wants us as His cherished prize. Would He really allow us to go through disparaging circumstances knowing full well that we couldn’t handle it? That would not bring his desire to fruition, which is making us his special possession – perfected and made whole. Clearly we do have a decision to make. But the decision He wants us to make with every distress is to turn to Him and lean on Him and His understanding. Then we can make it through and out the other side sculpted ever more beautifully in the image of our Creator.

But back to the narrator’s statement on the ride – the approaching storm may seem violent and destructive to us, however God already has authority over it. God is omnipotent and lives eternally in the past, present, and future at the same time. He knows what struggles, agonies, and difficulties are headed our way. He isn’t surprised when someone loses his or her job, or when someone like me deals with same-sex attractions and insecurities. He knows it before hand and it doesn’t unsteady Him. Isn’t it amazing that when things are going great our relationship to God is going great…but as soon as we hit a train wreck, our relationship with God crashes right along with that train? Maybe this isn’t something you can relate to, but I most certainly can.

Maybe certain things happen as sort of a hammer to our hearts and our heads. God is trying to wake us up. “Hey, don’t get too comfortable. You need to lean on me and depend on me for everything. You just trust me and I will make it all right.” Perhaps it’s a test of our true character. Are we going to stand on a solid foundation when the winds come crashing down on us? Or are we going to hunch over in the foundation of sand and fall over when the wind hits? I think God wants us to do the former.

Many of us are experiencing financial struggles right now. Some have lost jobs and are on the lookout for that one job that never seems to fall in their lap. Some may be striving for holiness and just seem to fall short every time. But no matter what the circumstance, be encouraged! Easier said than done right? But we should be so encouraged in knowing this: “He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation; for in him all things in heaven and on earth were created, things visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or powers—all things have been created through him and for him. He himself is before all things, and in him all things hold together” (Colossians 1:15-17 NRSV, emphasis added). All things in creation hold together in Christ. He has authority over every situation, every financial crisis, and every insecurity. We just have to realize it and embrace it. If we approach an impending storm, let’s remember that Christ already has authority over it and let’s face it with an enthusiasm to grow.

Is the pain worth it? Absolutely. Is the pain worth me growing closer in dependence on Christ? Most definitely! Is the pain worth it when I am humbled by a struggle and I have to cry out, “Lord I can’t do this without You”? Of course.  I won’t always be enthusiastic but I do know now, thanks to my pastor’s sermon that I have a choice in how I respond to any negative circumstance: will I lose all hope and miss the opportunity to grow even more into the man God has called me to be, or will I trudge forward in total faith and dependence on the God of the universe who promises He’s in control and embrace the gracious opportunity to mature spiritually?

When I look back on this season 10 years from now I hope to I be so very thankful that I learned from this time, that I grew and matured, and that my relationship with Christ was richly deepened. I want to thank God for this experience and say in due time, “I define that moment in my life back in the fall of 2008 as a time when I gained a better understanding of who God is, and He grew me up into the man I am today. And for that I am thankful.”